The Downward Spiral
by Mighty Crouton
Summary: A collection of drabbles centered on the Hellsing Organization. New Story: Alucard & Young Walter  Starfockers Inc.
1. The Downward Spiral

**Downward Spiral**

My collection of drabbles centered around the Hellsing Organization  
The theme? Nine Inch Nails.  
All the way.

_When figures from the past stand tall  
And mocking voices ring the hall  
Imperialistic house of prayer  
Conquistadores who took their share_


	2. A Warm Place

**A Warm Place**

**Seras Victoria**

It's sort of funny if you think about it.

When he had me... I mean... when he had me, I didn't know what to think. When he put me under that spell, I knew what was going to happen. And the first thing that came to mind was that I had to make it out of this. That I had to survive... because I never got to go to Mexico City.

That sounds funny, huh?

It sort of is funny.

The kind of funny things you think... when a man is about to violate and ruin you. Maybe you'd think of something else. Maybe if that kind of monster grabbed and controlled you, you would think about your family. Your friends. Think of a way to get out of it. See... I didn't. I had no family to think about. And all my friends were killed by him. I knew there was no way to get out of it. All I could think about was that postcard of Mexico City an old friend sent me when I was in fourth grade and I thought, hey. The shores are beautiful. I'd love to see the sunset there sometime. And I blocked out everything and focused just on that.

I have to get out of this... I have to survive this.. I never got to see Mexico City. I'd like to see it. The sundown. I really would.

Then, well.. HE came. HE rescued me. And as I laid there with a hole through my chest, I kept thinking about Mexico City. Then when HE turned me, I thought to myself..

Well... at least now I'll get to see Mexico city. Maybe not Mexico City during sundown, but I can settle for a full moon instead.


	3. Mr Self Destruct

**Mr. Self-Destruct**

_I am the bullet in the gun. . . . . . . And I control you  
I am the truth from which you run . . . And I control you  
I am the silencing machine. . . . . . . And I control you  
I am the end of all your dreams . . . . And I control you_

**Alucard**

The bird of hermes is my name  
eating my wings to make me tame

I found that passage while invading Abraham's library one day. I don't remember how long ago that was. I don't really care, either. When you get as old as I am, keeping track of time is petty and useless. Keeping an agenda is best left for humans. They need to remind themselves of the date and time. They are only numbering what days they've left to live.

I can do that. Go off subject, take this train of thought in a different direction without justification. I frankly don't care, not really. There's a lot I like to talk about. Quite a bit. I just never get the chance. Instead, I stay where I'm suppose to stay. I go where I'm suppose to go. I'm always doing what I'm told to do. But I want to, you see. I'm always bored. Always bored. There's never enough to do. There's never enough that can be done.

Books don't help pass the time, but in those years it was better than nothing. I hadn't drank blood in five years. Abraham was breaking me like a horse, distancing me from blood and waiting for me to crawl to him begging for a taste of his son's blood... who was a virgin. Tricky tricky tricky bastard. He knew my weakness. He knew how to get me addicted. He knew how he was going to control me. It would be a matter of time before I did that. Before I learned I could put him at checkmate by sacrificing my freedom. My willpower.

The Ripley Scroll is suppose to be the mortal leak of how to achieve immortality. In truth, it's a bunch of rubbish. But there are those two lines... those two perfectly polished lines...

Bird of Hermes is my name  
Eating my wings to make me tame

The day I saw that, I succumbed to Abraham's authority. He thought he defeated me. He thought he finally did it, accomplished the impossible, made a vampire a Servant of Hellsing Institute...

I requested a customized coffin with that quote printed on the surface. Abraham was alarmed. Why? When he read the quote scratched into the surface of my bed, he knew. He knew and he realized his grave mistake.

By forfeiting my freedom and becoming a servant of Hellsing, I become that much more strong. The institute won't survive for long, eventually Abraham's blood would thin out and his descendents would become weaker. I will keep baiting them with my blood until eventually a generation of Hellsing will falter and I will reign triumphant.

It's already beginning. Abraham's youngest son was killed by his own selfish desire for power. I foresee the downfall of Hellsing. It is only a matter of time... and time just happens to be my ally.


	4. The Becoming

**The Becoming**

_I beat my machine it's a part of me it's inside of me  
I'm stuck in this dream it's changing me I am becoming  
The me that you know had some second thoughts  
He's covered with scabs and he is broken and sore  
The me that you know doesn't come around much  
That part of me isn't here anymore_

**Integral & Alucard; Animeverse**

"...Integral..." Fucking Jesus H. Christ on a Goddamn Stick. The pain was excrutiating. She could feel it through her bones, like an uncomfortable hum. Whatever wasn't broken was most certainly swollen, and what was broken she didn't pay much attention to because the chemistry of her body was sure to make that area of her body very very numb.  
It was funny, laying there. Spread out like an eagle. So this is what it must be like to be Prometheus, tied down to stone and waiting for that goddamn bird to chew through the tender flesh of her belly and eat an ever regenerating organ for all eternity.  
"...Integral.."  
Fortunately the damn bird was gone.  
"...Integral.."  
Unfortunately, she was still tied down to the stone.  
"...I know you can't speak. Are you too weak?"  
"mph." What a pathetic attempt at speech. She heaved under the weight of her chest... she had to have several rib bones fractured, there could be no other reason why it was so painful to breath. "...I'm... here..."  
"I know."  
He descended on her like a great big vulture, pale skin taut across his body and black hair in a disarray about his face. Bright crayons of red were wide with orgasmic victory, pressing palms into the cool stone as he stared down at her.  
"...Mission accomplish."  
"...Good. Now get me a cup of strong Earl Grey, a cigar, and a loaded Winchester so I can shoot you in the face for taking your bloody time to toy with the bastard while I was DYING."  
Alucard shrugged, bony shoulders rotating around with a sickening crack as dead joints gave away to dead air, "Fair enough."


	5. Piggy

**Piggy**

_Hey pig  
Yeah you  
Hey pig piggy pig pig pig  
All of my fears came true  
Black and blue and broken bones you left me here I'm all alone  
My little piggy needed something new_

**Integral & Anderson: Mangaverse**

"Mr. Anderson, what in God's good name do you think you are doing?"  
"Weel, lass. Aye thought it'd be only proper that tae mend th' relationships between us Catholics an' you Angelicans tha' we do as God intended us tae do.."  
"...And God intends you to pull down your pants."  
"Weel, aye and nay. See, I was visited by th' good Saint Matthew.."  
"..Another 'Vision', Anderson?"  
"Yes ma'am."  
"...Ever considered maybe your visions could be... well... just maybe a side-effect of whatever god knows the Vatican did to you?"  
"Ah, naye."  
"What about that Schizophrenia you were diagnosed with?"  
"Come on now, Sir Hellsing. Ye and I know both that I wasn't diagnosed wit' anything."  
"Than what do you call these extensive medical papers concerning your Mental Illness, Mr. Anderson?"  
"A wee misunderstandin' by th' medical folks who confused my bein' touched by God fer a slight case of insanity."  
"Ah."  
"But by any means, th' Good Saint Matthew begged tha' I do God's good work by bein' wit you."  
"...That makes no sense, Mr. Anderson."  
"I do believe it does, Sir Hellsing."  
"No. It doesn't."  
"Weel, if God intended it, it certainly must..."  
"Listen, Mr. Anderson. You are a Catholic. Even if you work for me, you are still a Catholic. And by creed, you cannot act sexually in any way what-so-ever."  
"It doesn' have te be Sexual, Sir."  
"...I don't see how procreation can't be sexual."  
"I doubt Eve enjoyed herself much, Sir."  
"I doubt she didn't!"  
"God intended women tae Multiply, so they shall. God wants us to Multiply, so we shall. It's a mission, it isn't for pleasure."  
"Anderson... What the fuck are you talking about?"  
"Don't ask me. Ask Saint Matthew, he's th' one rattlin' off in my head when I'm jus' tryin' tae take a piss."


	6. I'm an Idiot

**I'm an Idiot**

_I'm an idiot  
I watch looney tunes  
I'm an idiot  
I don't go to church  
I'm an idiot  
I like to smoke chairs  
I'm an idiot  
Shoot me please_

**Arthur & Alucard**

Arthur was sullen for the year following. It was a difficult thing for him to deal with, but prayer and mission kept him distracted. As well as the sound of his baby daughter's coo.

"Masster..?"

"Alucard." Arthur mutters, the name wasn't even mentioned properly. He said it so half assed it made the vampire seethe.

"...Mortals.." Alucard grunts, flipped upside down as he peered at Arthur from his topsy turvy little world, black threads of unattached hair splayed in curious directions with a red velvet coat dangling like a dead curtain over his shoulders. He looked like an oversized bat. One huge childish oversized bat.

Arthur lit a cigar meekly, searching the ashtray for answers to questions he couldn't define. "..hmm."

Alucard sighed, a sickle of ivory lazily overlapping a lower lip as his voice mocked without charm. "You humans are always so attached to eachother. Like ants. Depending and thriving on one another's presence. That's your weakness."

"Hnn..."

He smiles slightly. Well, if Alucard can't talk sense into his master, then he'll mock sense into him. "...Died instantly?"

Arthur's face suddenly twisted. A bit angry. A little angry. Very angry. But he was calm, his words sliding out of his mouth without tire, "Not quite... She was trapped in the wreck for about six hours before she passed on..."

Alucard laughed at that brush of mortality, clacking a tongue against the roof of his mouth, "Whewww! Those acts of God really stick it in and break it off, don't they?"

How was Alucard to know his help would only be repaid by a god forsaken vacation sealed in the bottom of a basement?


	7. Closer

**Closer**

_Through every forest, above the trees  
Within my stomach, scraped off my knees  
I drink the honey inside your hive  
You are the reason I stay alive_

**Alucard x Integral; Mangaverse**

They were separated by bodies, by blood, by limbs, by death. Spirits writhed like headless snakes, flicking and twitching without a head to control their actions. Teeth glowed beneath black bristle, heavy eyes rolling upwards as they searched the woman above him. Chest rising and falling as human instinct overcame him. Ah.. so this is what it's like to breathe? This is what it's like to feel individual? This is what it's like to have your soul stand apart from the millions of whispering victims and tortured spirits..  
Integral glared down at her servant with cruel eyes glassed blue, lips narrowed and pursed, a smile twitching across her face. Intoxicating tendrils of smoke enveloped her, clinging to her skin, clothes, hair..  
"..Master… Master.." Alucard repeated again and again, watching his words control the woman's ego and gained arrogance. "How does it feel.. to have so much power?"  
What followed shortly was a laugh, then knuckles curled white and glinting between tears in her stained pearl gloves.  
Alucard reared in anticipation, his body drawing closer to hers. "I offer this sacrifice to you."  
"The dead bodies of Iscariot?" Integral raised a brow as if she was above such a gift. "The head of Millennium?"  
"Nay." He began, his voice deliberately slow, tongue tasting each formulation of grammar with thick accent. "Of London itself."  
"Then.." Integral smiled cruelly, tearing off the glove of her left hand in one fluid motion with her teeth, "..You deserve a just blessing."  
A smile twitched over his features as he drank the visage of his glorious master. Power corrupts all humans, even his dear iron maiden. Pressing clammy lips over the warm flesh of her extended hand, a tongue lapped the fresh skin before settling against the pulse of her wrist. Alucard's fangs just grazed the surface of her tawny skin as Integral pulled away, cupping her servant's jawline and guiding her pet's mouth to crush into hers. Red eyes narrowed dangerously as he felt his master's lips split, guiding his tongue into her mouth. Flat human teeth clamped, tearing the muscle's flesh and tasting his power, copper flavored and rich.  
It was intoxicating.


	8. Hurt

**Hurt**  
_You could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt_

**Alucard - Mangaverse**

Even before the prison, Alucard always had walls surrounding him. At the moment they were plain and solid, but every day they were dark and cold.  
It protected him from what little remained of his humanity. It protected him from enemies. Actually, it did more to protect him from himself. Even monsters thrive on monsters; Alucard was no exception.  
So he stood there, staring at the physical walls surrounding him, dark humor sure to tell him that they were symbolic of his feelings. Always trapped... always chained... what was freedom? Who knew? He wasn't even allowed to sacrifice that freedom by his own will - it was just taken from him.  
These thoughts always made him feel dire, so red eyes fading milky wide swam upwards into the pathetic glow of a lamp above him, studying it's electric twitch as he heard the scream of new life born upstairs.  
...Waiting was all he could do.


	9. Something I Can Never Have

**Something I Can Never Have**  
_I still recall the taste of my tears.  
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.  
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.  
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore._

**Walter, Integral, Arthur - Mangaverse**

The mother was dying, and Arthur wanted nothing to do with the babe for the next week or so as he stayed by his wife's side. There was internal bleeding to the womb and cancer to the brain, but she was a fighter and survived to the bitter end.  
Walter would never tell these stories to the newborn in his arms. Instead, he smiled and caressed her, fingertips shaping her features and outlining her perfect body. Were he to name her, he'd like to name her Elizabeth or Anna, some pretty English name of royal descent.  
But Walter wouldn't name her. Arthur would end up giving her some long-winded masculine name signifying how much he detested her gender. But in his heart, the old butler would still call her by Anna.


	10. Every Day is Exactly the Same

**Every Day is Exactly the Same**  
_ I can feel their eyes are watching  
In case I lose myself again  
Sometimes I think I'm happy here  
Sometimes, yeah, I still pretend  
I can't remember how this got started  
But I can tell you exactly how it will end._

**Integral, Alucard - Animeverse**

She was there, smiling thoughtfully with the back of her head pressed into the wall behind her. One had to admit, that even prisoned, Integral was treated with all the high regalities fitting her birth. Even now, a year into her lifelong captivity, she drank pinot noir in crystal goblets imported from Russia. At one point, Integral even requested cigars imported from Cuba, and the guards didn't hesitate.

Even behind bars, she was a power to be reckoned with.

Despite what power she may have still held, Integral remained caged.

"It amuses me."

Her head raises to regard the empty wall, a gaze hardened by betrayal searching the shadows for the voice beckoning her, "What does?"

"Isn't this familiar...?"

It was. This place. This situation. Comparing ten years then to ten years present was like looking in the mirror. Parallels stretched in line, however...

"...How our roles have switched."

Integral smiled, picking the wine from the table and taking a moment to inhale the intoxicating perfume of alcohol. "Indeed."

"I have to say..." The words begin, a figure taking shape before her. Emerging from the shadow, an inky substance clinging to gaunt arms and pinching the velvet fabric of his duster, Alucard smiles as he speaks - the peaks of his teeth glowing in the dim light, "... I do believe I owe a favor, Master."

Integral smiled, eyes glazed with ice twitching back and forth and dipping into those canyons of red, hidden somewhere behind orange-tinted glasses, "Oh...?"

Her smile acknowledged everything. He plucked one of the glasses from the table... this one carried red wine, not necessarily his favorite (when he was human, that is. Then again, brand names change and the way grapes are harvested presently may alter his tastes were he still a man of wine). Rotating the glass counterclockwise, burgundy liquid twirls and his thoughts take the shape of words, "Yes. You offered your blood... I am... indebt to you."

The Hellsing director only gazed at the distance between her hands, flexing a wrist embraced by the soft reigns of her leather shackle. She was, for the most part, growing bored with daily life inside this tower. No amount of pinot noirs or cuba cigarillos eased her idle suffering, however this new transaction excited her. For the most part, Integral only smiled.

A long, childish grin spread over Alucard's pallid lips as he crushed the glass in one hand, red wine staining his satin glove. "... It's your choice."


	11. Ruiner

**Ruiner**

_The ruiner's a collector he's an infector serving his st to his flies  
Maybe there will come a day when those that you keep blind will suddenly realize  
Maybe it's a part of me you took to a place I hoped it would never go  
And maybe that fked me up so much more than you'll ever know_

**Alucard & Integral**

For what it was worth, Integral prefered the rapier over a ranged weapon. To say that practicing melee techniques was outdated would be difficult to argue against. However, in Integral's experience, it was very difficult to kill a zombie with one shot. Normally, it took five shots to the neck and head before the thing would collapse. Then, just as you try to reload the next clip, your arm has already been gnawed off by the rest of the undead horde.

The rapier had an advantage. With one flick of the wrist, you could severe the head from the body. And to save even more time, reloading is absolutely unnecessary.

Therefore, swords were more efficient than firearms. Case closed, Integral wins.

Unfortunately, the zombie argument can only work so many times.

"... Alucard, you said you would show restrictions!"

"What... having a hard time clipping off my head, Master? Not quite so cocky, are you?"

There were many disadvantages to being trapped under a vampire. Of the multiple life defying and soul extinguishing threats that existed, the only particular thing Integral minded was Alucard's breath. Poised underneath him, both arms were pressed into her sides as the vampire shifted his weight to better pin her, bones grinding against bones and flesh separated by the thick material of her suit and the thin fabric of his coat. He sighed, the cold, dead air frosting Integral's glasses.

It smelled like rotten flesh.

Must be the smell of defeat.

She hated defeat.

"Nostalgic," Alucard murmured, admiring his master as if she was merely an oversized child. Though the thought was disturbing, because if she were an oversized child, the look in his eye would be nothing short of pedophiliac. "Remember when you first shot them...?"

Integral rolled her eyes at his reflections, already bored with the conversation just at its tail-end beginning. It would be nice to express her distaste with a huff. But the act of opening her mouth would only expose her tongue to Alucard's breath. In all regards, she prefered to listen to the man instead of interrupt him with any expression that may ruin her own taste buds in the long run.

"... Surrounding you... you were crying. Asked me to take you away... I wouldn't. Gave you that sword. Made you tear them apart."

"You bastard, you let them bite me." Saying that was worth the taste of decay. Gagging on Alucard's smell, she tried to ignore present circumstances by staying focused on the unpleasant conversation. "I hope you liked being locked up for a month without blood after that."

A smile split pallid lips, words hushed under a cool tone, "The torture was worth the experience of holding a terrified, bloodrenched little girl."

She could only smirk, "You may have gotten far, and lord knows I have no idea how, but let me make one thing very clear in your narrow little mind. I can see just what you are and not what you think you are. Also, to add insult to your measly pride... You never hurt me Alucard, but I'm glad you've convinced yourself of false victories." Integral smiled as her arm shifted under the cocky vampire, "It brings about some charming aspects of your personality."

"... You really are still that little gir-"

BAM

So, okay. Perhaps firearms had a couple of values that the rapier lacked.

* * *

_I've wanted to use this song since forever. It's my favorite Nine Inch Nails song, but I had the damndest time trying to apply it to a storyidea. Of course, it was going to involve Alucard's Superiority complex, but in what context?_

_Well, he does think he has Integral pinned, doesn't he?_

_And after that thought, it hit me._

_So really, Integral is the narrator in the song Ruiner. Alucard is the Ruiner; Integral is the 'Ruined'._

**_You didn't hurt me nothing can hurt me_**

**_You didn't hurt me nothing can stop me now_**

_god I love this song. :D_


	12. Beside You in Time

**Beside you in Time**

_ I am all alone this time around  
Sometimes on the side I hear a sound  
Places parallel I know it's you  
Feel the little pieces bleeding through _  
**  
Alucard & Walter  
**

"Shinigami..." "Well, now. It's been a long time."  
"Indeed."  
"So I suppose this calls for a celebration?"  
"Of course."  
"Which do you prefer, Type A or Type B?"  
"Heh. You still have your sense of humor.."  
"Well, yes. I am still quite snappy, if not more so than when we last departed."  
"...Walter... You've changed."  
"Tell me something I don't all ready know. Here, fresh from the hospital. It maybe virgin, the giver was a sixteen year old. But in this day and age, who knows?"  
"You are changing the subject."  
"Am I?"  
"Yes."  
"Oh, then I apologize."  
"..."  
"I myself am a scotch man, but as of late I haven't quite had the time to indulge in the drink as often as I'd like."  
"Walter."  
"Goodness gracious, am I talking off your ear again?"  
"Heh."  
"Would you prefer we talk of good old days?"  
"..Heh... Walter... Do you reminince about those days?"  
"Yes, I do."  
"Do you remember when we attacked Rip Van Winkle?"  
"Oh, what a cold wench she was."  
"Heh. She was a difficult bout. I wonder if she's still out there, somewhere. Hopefully her German has improved. When I last remember, she couldn't speak any language apart from Romanian."  
"What she couldn't convey with words, she could sure as hell say with actions."  
"Remember when she nearly tore off your leg?"  
"Thankfully you were there to deflect her attack."  
"It's a shame The Late Master did not allow me to unlock all my restraining levels.."  
"He was always very paranoid about you. But that was to be expected. You are quite an unpredictable dog."  
"Yes."  
"Lord knows, he certainly didn't know what to do with you after the war."  
"As it shows."  
"The King ordered you under house arrest."  
"As I know."  
"He had to seal you. I know how you fought back, but in order to protect England, he was required."  
"I know..."  
"..."  
"Walter... your eye."  
"Yes?"  
"...I'm sorry."  
"Now, don't apologize. If I were in your position and my closest comrade was ordered to put me in a basement, I too would throw a fiesty punch or two."  
"Is the stigmatism uncomfortable?"  
"Not by much. It dulls my sense of perception, but I'm on permanent hiatus from war so it isn't much of a bother."  
"Can you still fight?"  
"Alucard. I maybe old, but I'm not handicapped."  
"When was the last time you fought?"  
"Too long."  
"When?"  
"...When you were by my side."  
"Walter... it must be terrible.. to age, grow old, and die."  
"Now, we folks enjoy our age. It makes time spent all the more precious. Live life to the fullest."  
"Are you still a virgin?"  
"We both know the answer to that question."  
"Heh. It appears chastity is still a virtue in the institution."  
"Indeed."  
"I want to offer you my curse, but I can't."  
"I know."  
"Shinigami, if I could give you my blood, I would. I've wanted to since 1944"  
"I know. I know."  
"We were happy with one another. We were comrades. Walter, you were my equal."  
"Now, that's stretching it a bit, don't you think, my friend?"  
"Hardly."  
"Then, I suppose it is just unfortunate you can't offer the vampirism to snappish old englishman such as myself."  
"It really is unfortunate you are a man. Else, I wouldn't hesitate."  
"...Hmm."  
"Would you hesitate, Walter?"  
"Hesitate? At the thought I'd be spending eternity fighting by yourside? An Eternity serving the Hellsing Institution? I think we both know the answer to that question, my friend."  
"Ah... If I could.. I would."  
"I know. I know."  
"Walter. It bothers me. Standing across from you, detecting the scent of death on your form. You are dying, Shinigami."  
"Only proper that the God of Death should die, isn't it?"  
"Ironic."  
"Perhaps."  
"Mmm..."  
"Is the blood virgin?"  
"Blood?"  
"The Medical-bag you are drinking right now."  
"Oh. No. Even children grow too quickly in this day and age."  
"Evil grows with time. We are forced to mature quickly in order to survive."  
"Survival of the fittest."  
"Let's just enjoy time as it is. You need to learn to stop contemplating the future and start living life as it ought to be lived. Not in the past. Not in the future. But now. Or else you waste what precious time you have left in this world."  
"It appears Father Time has granted you with some blessing of wisdom."  
"At least I've learned something from my enemy."  
"Heh. To me, you are still that snappish young boy with bright blue eyes."  
"And to me you will always be a bloodthirsty annoying git with a terrible haircut and god awful taste in fashion."  
"Fur was in high fashion at the time."  
"Not where we were at."  
"Pardon me, but I like white fox."  
"It certainly didn't like you, else you wouldn't have looked so terrifically ridiculous."  
"Perhaps the past is something I don't quite miss as much as I ought to.."  
"Perhaps it isn't."  
"Walter?"  
"Yes, Alucard?"  
"Thank you."  
"For what?"  
"For befriending a monster."  
"Ah. Well, in that case, thank you."  
"..For what?"  
"For letting a young boy befriend you."_  
_

* * *

This was originally it's own story, but I'm cutting down on the number of my fics. Since this is a one shot, I combined it with my collection, just so you know  



	13. Starfockers INC

**Starfuckers INC**

_I have arrived and this time you should believe the hype  
I listened to everyone now I know that everyone was right  
I'll be there for you as long as it works for me  
I play a game it's called insincerity_

**Alucard, Young Walter**

They sat across from each other. Blue eyes clashed with red, a frown with a smile, appropriate fashion with...

"... Is that Rabbit fur or Fox..?"

"Polar Bear." Alucard stated smugly, fingers idly fidgeting and toying with the flat fluff of his hat.

"Ah." The young butler replied with a question still lingering in the tone of his voice, "... Polar bear."

"Mm hmm."

"... It... uhm... looks dashing... on you."

Walter opened his mouth to say something but really, really, really couldn't. Instead, a sigh groaned from his throat and his head found its way against the window of the train.

The vampire grinned ivory whites. Just a pale girly face with a bright smile and long black eye lashes. All smiles and no humor. One big anemic jack-o-lantern complete with a polar bear furred hat.

"Hey..."  
Those twin blue eyes roll back to his direction, brows knit as the young man studied his companion. "What?"  
Alucard's smile shifted into a contemplative smirk, gaze following the English boy's metal-encased knuckles and nudging his head to emphasize direction. "So... you ever do stuff with those wires?"

"'Stuff?'"

"You know... _stuff_ stuff," Alucard's tone teased into a melody at the repetition of the word 'stuff'.

Walter, evidently, was not following, "Wh-... What sort of 'stuff'?"

Smacking pale lips, the androgynous vampire slacked his posture into the opposite seat, eyes flickering as they drew up to drink the butler's features at his next words, "You know... _kinky_ stuff."

He could only groan and was sorely tempted to sarcastically reply the following: Gee, Alucard. I don't know. Do you do anything with that horrendous little flat of a polar bear hat except prance around like some git with the thing on?

Unfortunately, Walter forgot Vampires can read minds.

"Why as a matter of fact," Alucard began, cracking his knuckles and taking a deep dramatic breath of air (further emphasized by the fact that vampires don't even need to breath) – "there was a time when I was alone with Arthur, the hat, and three other girls. And we deci-"

Walter returned to pressing his head against the cool window as eyes rolled attentively at each passing tree outside. This was going to be a long, long painful train ride back to London.


End file.
